Here I Am

Politicians Gone Wild

johnny — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 09:04:19 -0300

Sen. David Vitter, R.-La, supporting a federal ban on gay marriage:

"It's often said, but it's very, very true,
and it is worth repeating -- marriage is truly
the most fundamental social institution in
human history."

OK so if it's that great, why would you employ the services of an escort???

Also, ironically, the quote above could easily be attributed to someone who is for gay marriage. Strange how the same phrase can be used to justify both sides of the argument.

Hey Baby Hey

johnny — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:00:06 -0300

Ryan got back from New York last night and I picked him up at the airport. I was so excited to see him. :) I missed him alot, though he was only gone for a week, I'd gotten used to seein' him every day.

Frama

johnny — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:38:57 -0300

So this post is gonna be me venting about alot of things. I had an OK weekend. Shane left on Thursday for a cruise with his coworkers. I thoroughly enjoyed having the house all to myself, and got alot done.

On Friday I was tired and feeling kinda ill, but Patrick and Eric wanted me to go out with them. I eventually decided to go. So I drove over to Patrick's and bought some beer for them on the way over. Robert was out of town for the weekend, so I thought it would be a good time to hang out with just Patrick. He's always joking that if they broke up I'd never come to hang out with him.

Anyways, we went to Christopher St. Pub and it was sink or swim there. For some reason Patrick had the brilliant idea to go to Chambers. We went there and I paid for him and I to get in. He only wanted to stay for one drink though, and then he wanted to go to the male room. When we got to the male room, patrick told me that Ryan had said something to him (that i will not mention here), that was upsetting. I text messaged Ryan and he called me back, refuted what had been told to me, and telling me the only time he had talked to Patrick before he left was when I was with him. Patrick had called me and then asked to talk to Ryan.

So basically Patrick, my friend, who I trust, told me a flat out lie to make me upset and angry with my boyfriend. There is more to the story than that though... Patrick had previously told rather nasty lies about me to Ryan. Of course it got back to me, and eventually I did find out that it was Patrick who said those things. So I basically came to the conclusion that Patrick A) is an unhappy person who can't stand to see other people happy, B) uses his disease as a justification for his abuse of prescription drugs and alcohol. I was fuming mad and threw my drink and then my glass at Patrick before we left. Then we argued the entire time home. I had a couple things to say to him.

I was so glad to be at home.

On Saturday Tropical Storm Barry made landfall early in the day, bringing us some very needed rain. It hadn't rained in months here, so it was a pretty good thing. I slept through it mostly, I love sleeping when it's rainy.

On Saturday, I had some projects to do around the house, but mostly I just relaxed and hung out. Same thing on Sunday. In the evening, Austin came over, I was bored and I wanted someone to vent to about the above drama. He also had his own drama to tell me all about. His crazed ex-roommate, Nancy, aka, Little Miss Piggy, had come over to his house and flipped out in front of his current roommates, as well as showed up at his place of employment. She also threatened him with coming to his work and waiting for him in the parking lot. I told him to get a restraining order.

May

johnny — Wed, 30 May 2007 12:18:08 -0300

May is almost over. Wow, it's crazy how fast it went by. I've been dating an awesome guy, Ryan. I spend a lot of time with him, he's awesome.

Though he's gone to NY for vacation. I dropped him off at the airport on Saturday morning, and have been kinda bored and lonely since. Trying to keep myself occupied, but it still sucks.

I went to the beach on Sunday and now have a nice tan and I'm hoping I can keep it for a while this time. Last time I went to the beach I got too much sun on my back and all of it ended up pealing, leaving me a little bit spotted. Sunset Beach was so packed when I was there, it was kinda crazy. I went there and met up with Patrick and Robert. Their friend Eric came just as we were leaving. Afterwards I had to go home to eat and shower off all the sand.

We had planned to meet at Baywalk to see Bug, but Patrick was running late, so I went over there and rode over with them. The movie was so awful. It was terribly boring, and I found myself laughing at parts that I felt were supposed to be scary or disturbing. The acting was soooo overdone. It was just bad. Bad Bad Bad. I wanted my $7 back... :-(

HOT!

johnny — Tue, 01 May 2007 15:04:31 -0300

I just got back from lunch and here's a pic I took on my car's thermometer. Of course, my car had been sitting out for a while, but still...

Spring

johnny — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 12:52:27 -0300

Well, it's been almost a month in the new apartment. After the first few days of sleeping on an air mattress, my back started bothering me. I wasn't sleeping well, so I went and bought a new mattress. I still have to get the frame that I want from Ikea. My room still needs some more furniture, but a lot of my stuff is unpacked.

Last weekend, I bought a couch. It's surprising how much more homey it feels with that one piece of furniture.

What else is new...? Hmmm... Well, I've just been busy with getting the apartment together, work, hanging out with friends, etc. Things are good. One pain in the ass did surface last weekend though. My car started making a nasty grinding noise when I brake. So I will be taking my car in this weekend, which sucks.

New Post

johnny — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 19:27:23 -0400

Hey everyone,

I've been super busy lately and haven't really been in the mood to post anything here. But I think I'm gonna start doing so once again.

Check out some things I've been working on:

John Ryan Design

Pittsburgh Blogs

Disappointment

johnny — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 12:40:02 -0400

So, on Thursday, I had a date to go out with Alibi with a guy I had been interested in. We'd been talking online off and on for 2 years, and I'd met him once at Alibi, which didn't go too well, cuz I didn't remember his name... Since then we had talked online several more times, and I convinced him to hang out with me. lol

Jason came over on Thursday and we hung out at the house for a little bit before going to Alibi. I was having a really good time there, and saw a lot of people I knew. While we were there, Jason was talking about going to Wrangler's on Saturday. He asked me if I was gonna go, I said maybe. Then he asked how he could turn my maybe into a yes, I thought that was pretty sweet. So I did say yes... I saw Nick, who gave me a hug and was all friendly to me, even though we hadn't spoken on good terms since June. Jason spent the night, and we slept most of the day, since both of us had off for Veteran's day. We drank coffee and talked. Jason ripped a contact, so he went home.

I was in a really good mood, cuz we had hit it off, and it's been a while since that happened. I cleaned out my car and hung out around the house. We texted back and forth, and decided that we'd both eat, shower, etc. and then meet up later on to do something.

We eventually decided on going to Chambers, and Jason drove over to my house again. We watched a dvd and hung out before going out. Joe texted me and asked what there was to do on a Friday night. I told him we were going to Chambers, and he called and said he wanted to go. I offered him some gas money if he'd pick us up. He showed up, all late, as usual. His boyfriend was with him, so I introduced myself and Jason and we headed out.

On the way over, Brian made a nasty comment to me, which won't be repeated here... But I didn't acknowledge it, nor did I hang out with either of them the rest of the night. I did have a lot of fun. Jason and I took our shirts off and danced, and at the end of the night, got a free shot. ;)

On Saturday, Jason spent the day at my house. We didn't really do much, but I made dinner that evening; he helped. ;) We met Jason's friend Cary at Alibi so we could all ride over to Ybor City together. We were waiting for Jason's friend to call so we could all get in for free, so we went to Cityside for a bit. It was their 16th anniversary party, and they were actually pretty busy. It was kinda strange though, because that was the 3rd year that I've randomly been at their anniversary. The first year was with my ex, Joe, my friend, Shawn, and some of Shawn's friends. Last year Shane, Jay and I went there.

After we left Cityside, we headed over to Ybor and found parking. Jason's friend still hadn't called, so I texted my friend, who works there, and he was at the door. Wrangler's was a pretty cool bar. It was the first time I'd been there. It totally reminded me of Chrome though, from back in the day. lol. I ended up getting pretty drunk off of free shots and drinks all night, go figure. Jason and I danced shirtless on platforms, and got our picture taken quite a few times.

Jason didn't leave my house until after dark on Sunday. I was kinda sad to say goodbye, but we'd had a good time, we both liked each other, and Jason had asked to take me to dinner on Wednesday. I showed up at work on Monday in a great mood. Jason and I texted back and forth all day, and then talked on the phone after work. I woulda gone over there, but then he said his roommates would be home from work soon, and he didn't know how they'd feel about company. So i went with Shane to Austin and Nancy's house and hung out with them.

On Tuesday morning, I texted him to say good morning, and he told me that he had called off work and was at Busch Gardens with his friend, R. I had met the guy briefly on Friday, and knew he was a former interest of Jason's. No big deal, but the tone of the texts that we exchanged from Monday to Tuesday were completely different. I started to have a bad feeling. Well, more than a feeling, I knew what was up, I just kept trying to tell myself that i was wrong.

Anyways, on Wednesday, after work, I called him and we talked for a little while. He told me what was up, and basically it was that he had dated this guy before, but there were other things going on at the time. They got together on Tuesday and started catching up, and decided to give it a shot without any distractions.

OK, so, I've been in that situation before, I understand... But that didn't help the fact that I felt incredibly disappointed. A part of me wished he woulda continued to see me, and keep R. as a friend. But they have history, and I'm not gonna compete with that. Horrible timing, but eh, like I told him, things happen... Jason said that he really liked me, and hoped we'd stay friends.

Even though he's seeing someone now, just the way he handled the whole situation makes me appreciate him more. Most people, when they're not interested, just seem to disappear, or stop talking to you, so I find it really admirable when people are upfront. The last person who was like that with me was Justin, and we ended up being really good friends. So, we'll see what happens...

CompuHell

johnny — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 11:52:57 -0300

I recently ordered a new processor/motherboard combo. For some reason I didn't catch that it didn't come with a CPU fan. When I got my package in the mail yesterday, I realized I needed to go get one. I could've ordered online, and paid shipping, etc, but, well, I really wanted to hook everything up and use my much faster computer...

I had planned on going after work yesterday to shop for Robert's birthday present with Shane. The only place I could get a CPU fan was at CompUSA in Clearwater. So, I picked up Shane and work and we drove together up to Clearwater. I had no problem getting what I needed at CompUSA. I love that store, I wish there was one closer to my house. Best Buy doesn't carry CPU fans (or a lot of things, for that matter), and IMHO is overpriced...

We got Robert's presents at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Walking in the door I had flashbacks from when I worked for one day at the one in Pittsburgh. I hadn't stepped foot in one since then. What a horrible job...

On the way home, I dropped Shane back at his car. Once I got home, I promptly started disassembling my computer in preparation for the new parts. Once everything was put back together, I plugged it in, and started it up... Nothing happened. :( I realized that I needed to upgrade my power supply. It wasn't providing enough power to the motherboard.

So, I ordered that today and will be, **Gasp**, without a computer for the weekend. I'll live.

After that fiasco, I went to Alibi last night with Shane and Austin. It was not very busy, so we met Patrick and Robert at Jimmy's house. We hung out there for a while, then hit up Grand Central, and then back to Alibi before heading home. It was a fun night. We're going camping for Robert's birthday. It should be really fun, I haven't been camping in years...

Lameness, Courtesy of Walgreen's

johnny — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 17:14:07 -0300

On August 26th, I dropped off some photos at Walgreen's. I had never taken them there before, and I usually don't ever use regular film cameras. It was close to my house, so I figured I'd give it a shot. How bad could it be. The answer: bad.

I went back the next day to pick up my one hour photos. They weren't done. Strange. Their machine was broken, they offered me $5 off, which was fine. I then called the next day, and they told me the machine was fixed, only did one roll, and they would call me when my photos were ready. I proceeded to call every day on my lunch break until I went on vacation.

So I go to PA for a week and a half, get back and no one had called me. Still... So on Monday I went in and picked them up. I didn't look at them until I got back to my house, but was disappointed to see that they had printed all of my pictures as panoramas. None of them were supposed to be panoramic. It was Advanced Photo System film, which let's you choose the format of the printed picture.

The photo CD and index print were missing also. So on Tuesday I took the photos back. I simply wanted my money back. They had messed them up so bad, I just wanted to take them elsewhere. The gentleman assisting me in the photo department had no clue what he was talking about. I tried to explain to him about the 3 picture formats, and showed him how the tops and bottoms of most of my pictures were cut off. He just told me that they were supposed to be like that, and also told me that there was no way for them to make a photo CD using the APS machine.

I've never had problems like that anywhere trying to get film developed. Thank God for digital cameras, right. Anyways, I wouldn't recommend going to Walgreens to process film. If they can mess up what is an almost completely automatic process, then they don't need my business. haha

Anyways, so I took them to CVS, and they did a beautiful job. Yay!

Ugh

johnny — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 15:34:30 -0300

So, I'm in kind of a surly mood today. There are a couple reasons...

Last Thursday, I went out to Alibi with Joe and his friend. I had a good time there. While I was there, a guy came up to me. I didn't recognize him, but he said hi to me and was really friendly. Until I told him I had no idea who he was. He said we'd been talking for 2 days and I should know his name. I didn't. I think he got offended when I had no clue who he was. He said well, if you figure out who I am, come talk to me. So, it did eventually occur to me who he was. But, first of all, I wouldn't recognize him from his pictures online, he was cuter in person. Secondly, I never did ask his name and it's not apparent from his screen name, like mine is. Third, he could've just introduced himself, it woulda made it a lot easier. Also, I was very drunk.

Anyways, now he won't talk to me anymore. I talked to him on Saturday, and he was really rude, and I attempted to talk to him today, to no avail. Blah, it sucks because I did enjoy talking to him and wish I had a chance to get to know him, he seemed like a pretty nice guy.

On Friday, Shane drove Austin and I to Chambers. I had a really good time there. It was really packed; more people than I have seen there in a long time.

On Saturday, Shane and I went to Chili's. I called Joe to see if he wanted to meet us there, because he had just gotten off work, and he said he wanted to hang out after that. He said he wasn't hungry, but he would meet us anyways. We waited and waited for Joe, only to find out that he had gone to the wrong Chili's. I called him and he got really pissy with me, so I told him not to bother. We finally got the waitress and told her that we weren't waiting for another person, and that we were gonna order.

Joe did end up joining us at Chili's when we were ready to leave, ate some of my food, and kept going on and on about how hungry he was. After that we went to the mall and shopped around, which is an annoying process with Joe. Everytime I'd pick something up, he'd say it was cheaper at Home Depot. So I ended up not buying anything I needed. Oh yeah, and then Joe broke a brand new neon light I had bought for my car. No apology, no offer to fix or replace it...

The evening, I didn't really feel like going out, but felt like I should go do something to celebrate my birthday. So after some debate, I decided that we should go to Alibi. Mike was offering to drive, but insisted that we take my car, as he poured himself a (mostly vodka) drink. So I had Shane drive.

We met Robert and Patrick there, who I was really glad to see. When it was time to leave, I told Mike and Joe that I was gonna go catch last call at GC with Patrick and Robert. I tried to say goodbye to Joe, because he said he was going to leave when we got home, but he kept walking. So when Patrick, Robert and I got to the house, Joe was still there for a little bit before he left for the evening.

Patrick, Shane, Robert and I left as Mike went to sleep. We went to Patrick and Robert's house, and I was finally able to enjoy myself in a drama free environment.

On Sunday, my birthday, I slept in, late. I called Joe when I woke up cuz he had sent me tons of messages. He started in on me calling me names and bringing me drama. On my fucking birthday. Excuse me; I think that I can hang out with whoever I please on my birthday, that means I have no obligation to do anything with you... Thanks... Especially after how he acted Saturday evening, why would I even want to?

Back in Florida

johnny — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:35:39 -0300

So, I'm back in Florida. For the majority of my vacation/trip to Pennsylvania, I didn't have access to the internet. Well, I could get online on my phone, but I wasn't about to blog from that, especially with the painfully slow connection I had up there... It really surprised me how no one I know has internet. Most everyone has computers though, which is a change from last year.

So it was an interesting trip, I drove up with my roommate in my old car, stressed out over finding a new car, visited with my family and friends, and then drove back to Florida in my new car. ;)

I definitely need to write more about it, but that will have to wait. For now I do have photos that you can see here.

I got back to the house on Tuesday evening. I didn't have to work Wednesday, so I slept literally all day. It was great. During my trip I never really got to sleep in or relax. :( Anyways, I spent the evening unpacking, organizing, etc. And then I took a trip to Wal*Mart with Shane, where I cracked out on car accessories. $90 later, I had all kinds of new crap to jazz up my car. Yay

Yesterday was my first day back at work. I'll have to admit, it was kind of odd. Today is number 2, and it's almost over. Yay. It's my birthday weekend, so I'm formulating lots of entertaining plans. :-D

Car Shopping

johnny — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 16:31:40 -0300

Next week I'll begin the process of looking for a new car. I've been thinking about what I want in a car, or some models that I think I would like.

	Hyundai Tiburon
	Honda Civic
	Toyota Solara
	Volkswagon Passat
	Nissan Maxima

Currently I drive a 1994 Toyota Corolla, which has been an excellent car, but with 207,000 miles on it, it's time for an update.

Some things I absolutely must have are power windows and doors. Keyless entry would be nice, and I'd also like something with a sunroof. In Florida, it would be great to have a convertible, but there aren't that many convertibles that I really like. I'm not a big fan of 2 door cars in the first place.

For a stereo, I'd actually prefer to have a tape deck, as I use a tape adapter with my iPod. I never listen to the radio, and changing CD's would drive me crazy. Hopefully I can find something with a tape/cd combo, as the radio tuners never seem to work well for me.

Cingular 8125

johnny — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:18:08 -0300

So, I've had my new phone for a couple weeks now. I'm completely enamored by it.

For the most part, it does everything I want it to smoothly. The internet runs quickly and the chat program I downloaded works really well. My favorite feature of Agile Messenger is that you can use it to take a picture and send it to one of your online buddies. Or you can send a file from the phone's memory.

Memory is a slight issue though. I haven't yet received a 2GB miniSD card that I ordered from ebay. If you plan on installing games, videos, music, etc., plan on upgrading memory. I got a pretty good deal on the memory card. After conversion to GBP I believe it was around 60 USD. Not bad at all for a chip that's not even 1" x 1" and holds 2GB.

I had to, unfortunately, perform a hard reset on my device several days ago. While installing a program, something went wrong. Horribly wrong... My phone would no longer sync with any PC, nor would it let me install or remove any programs using Microsoft ActiveSync.

Resetting my phone to factory settings fixed the problem when nothing else would. Fortunately, everything was backed up... Except for my contacts. Yes, they were on the SIM card, but SIM cards only hold name/number combinations, not multiple phone numbers for contacts (home, work, cell, etc.), email addresses, pictures, etc. So I sent part of my contacts to myself via email as vcards (.vcf). This preserved everything except for the user picture.

I think in the future I'm going to export my contacts as vcards and store them in my ipod's contacts folder. I don't yet know of a program that will mass export an entire address book. It's kind of a pain to do these individually...

Also, I later found that on the HTC Wizard phone, the contacts, calendars, notes and tasks are stored in a file on the root of the file system called pim.vol. So copying that file before performing a hard reset would theoretically save your contact information. You need to rename the pim.vol file before you are able to move it. For some reason it allows you to rename it but not copy it from the phone to the PC...

Naughty Naughty

johnny — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:19:37 -0300

Shit! I haven't posted in forever...

I've been busy lately, I suppose that's as good an excuse as any. I'm saving up for a new car, a trip to Pennsylvania... Hanging out with friends... Yeah, lots of exciting stuff.

Anyways, some friends of mine moved to Clearwater from Ohio 2 weeks ago. Well, I only knew Austin, but his roommates are cool. Shane and I have been spending a lot of time down there. 2 weekends ago we took them to Flirt. Flirt was a good time, but the night ended kinda badly... Kevin will be coming back this weekend, I'm kind of excited to see him again.

Other than the night going to Flirt, I really haven't done too much, I'm trying to be extremely frugal... I don't like it one bit. But I need to stop spending so much money! Joe and I did go to the outlet mall once last weekend, and I managed to only buy one item, a belt from Banana Republic.

Yesterday I had tickets for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays v. Toronto Blue Jays game. Having never been to a baseball game, I was pretty excited to go. Though I didn't know a thing about baseball, I figured it out pretty quick.

Last night I went to Georgie's Alibi, and met Robert there. He was with a friend, Patrick, who I'd met before, but couldn't remember exactly where... I had a really good time hanging out at Alibi. I hardly ever go there on Thursdays anymore, but I'm glad I did last night. They played some really good music, stuff I've never heard before.

Last Week

johnny — Sat, 24 Sep 2005 19:49:42 -0300

So, last Sunday I went out to Alibi for a little while. I don't even remember what made me want to... I think I just wanted to get out of the house. I had fun though. It didn't go out on my birthday, so I think that may have had something to do with it.

Toby and I danced way after the dance floor had basically cleared. I talked to Sean's boyfriend for a little bit, he told me he had seen my website and really liked it. That made me happy.

On Monday, Shane and I went to Alibi with Jiganesh and hung out for a bit, but weren't out too late.

On Tuesday, Cengiz wanted to do something date like, so we went to Dan Marino's for dinner, and then he didn't have anything else that he wanted to do, so we came back to my house. Alix was here with Jesse and said that Mike was coming over with some booze, so we all hung out outside, had a bonfire and drank vanilla vodka and cokes. It was relaxing.

I tried to go to sleep early on Wednesday, but that didn't happen. Thursday night, Shane and I decided to go to flirt. After debating whether we actually wanted to go or not for a while, we left here late, and parked in the ybor parking garage. We found flirt alright, but there was no music, and the doors were locked, so we were kind of confused. My friend Casey called and I told him what happened, and he said the same thing had happened to him last weekend. So I paid $6 for the 15 minutes we were parked in the garage, and we left. See if I ever try to go to a lesbian bar again... lol

Shane wanted to go to the Male Room, so we went there. Cengiz was there, it was good to see him again. We were there until almost close, then drove back home.

So, after the week I had, I was a little tired. Was gonna go out, but ended up taking a nap and not waking up until LATE! So that didn't happen. Oh well, I got my beauty sleep.

Earlier today, Shane and I went to Bob's memorial. It was close to my house, on the bay at a bed and breakfast. The whole thing was really nice. There was food, drinks, wine, beer, the whole shebang. Bob would've liked it. We were there from 2 until about 4:30, then came back to Swaying Palms.

I talked to my mom for a little bit, and Justin called me while I was on the phone with her. He wanted to see if I could go with him to a birthday party, so I think I'm gonna do that. I'm not in the mood for a club or well, much of anything. But pot and birthday cake sound good right about now...

::Peace::

Drag Queens in the Sunlight

johnny — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 13:36:53 -0300

Well, I'm on my lunch break. On my drive home, I saw this really tall, black woman, who was totally not a real woman... It cracked me up. She was talking to herself and walking all stumbly... Long weekend, I guess. ;)

Well, I came home and ate, and I still feel kind of out of it, so I think I'm gonna come home after work and take a nap. I don't think the chances of that actually happening are all that high, but it sounds like a nice plan right now.

Well, I'm out. Peace.

Give Me a Reason

johnny — Sun, 11 Sep 2005 20:26:31 -0300

Well, I'm listening to Portishead right now. I wish Mike had more of it though. You'd think with 10,000+ songs... Well, it's 9/11... It's a bad day anyways. I woke up and went to get in the shower, and Alix was crying in the bathroom.

I asked her what was going on, and she said Mike had just called her and a doctor had told him that Bob was too far along to get better. Mike was over here yesterday, and was really positive, talking about Bob getting better...

It was good that Mike came over. Most of the info I had gotten was coming from Alix. I hadn't seen Mike since last Sunday when he told us that Bob had been tested for HIV and was positive. He had been in the hospital for 3 weeks with pneumonia at that point. By Tuesday he was in ICU. I feel so terrible. I wish there was something I could do, but I guess there is just prayer at this point... Mike knows if he needs anything I'm here...

While Mike was here yesterday, we had a potential roomie come over. He was 33, and had no picture on his profile. Now, I'm not against anyone of any age, so he came over, but as soon as I met him, I was just like, ew... It got worse...

Walter called me while he was here and I looked up movie times for Brother's Grimm, which we then went to see. It was good, it had a slow beginning, but I liked it. It was subtly funny, and did a really good job of tying in the different Grimm Fairy Tales. The movie was done at 10ish, and we were in Channelside, so we drove past Temple, or Diesel, or Chrome, or whatever it is called this week, and asked how much cover was. It was free with free drinks until 11. So we parked and went in. No one was in there, which is usual at that hour. I fully expected that place to get packed, as it usually does. Although I hadn't been there in many months. So it didn't. We drank our free drinks, and some not so free ones, and then left at about 1:30. Went back to Walt's house and smoked. Came back here, Shane and I drank a little bit, smoked more, and then Shane stumbled upstairs. I wasn't sure I could make it upstairs, so I smoked another cigarette, and then somehow managed...

Mark called me last night at about 12:30. It was only 10:30 there, so I was a little more trashed than he was... LOL I called him today, but my phone cut out literally 10 seconds into the conversation, and then I couldn't call out again. He left me a voicemail saying his phone was about to die and that he'd call later. We're both pretty bad about calling when we say we're going to, so who knows when we'll talk again.

Hmm, well, that's about it. I was thinking about having a party next saturday for my birthday. I'm gonna get a Keg on Friday, and some various liquors.(It's payday). :) It's kind of short notice. I'll be sending out some myspace invitations.

New Pictures

johnny — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 18:30:32 -0300

Ok, these haven't been edited at all, and I wasn't paying attention, so the date/time stamp is on them... ew... Sorry....

Afternoon Coffee

johnny — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 15:31:33 -0300

Well, I've been really busy today. My day started off with manual labor, and no coffee until about 10:30. That's harsh for me...

I went home for lunch and did the whole email checking thing. Got a couple good ones. ;) I also talked to Walter briefly, but he was in the checkout line at Target, so I didn't keep him. That is the worst when you are trying to shop and someone is calling you... lol

Speaking of which, Ryan called me again last night, but once again, I was watching a DVD and didn't answer the phone... I told you... Major phone tag... I'll call him tonight. Oh man, and I still haven't talked to my dad... It's been months. He doesn't even call me to tell me he's going out of the frickin' country... lol. Anyways, I'm listening to BSB now, I'm slightly obsessed with their CD. It's kinda like what happened after I saw Britney live. I had never really liked her before that...

Um, yeah, BSB, a Konfabulator widget of Pittsburgh traffic cams. Wow, it has been so long since I've been in Pittsburgh. It's kinda making me miss it for a minute. I see the roads that I traveled so often, and the way the sun is shining makes me think of the cold dirty streets of... OK... Yeah, the moment is over... Last time I was in Pittsburgh, I stayed at Walt and Jarrod's house for about a week, which was weird. I was back home for part of September last year, and didn't really know what to do with myself... Had some good times in Pittsburgh, bad ones too though. Definitely glad I'm not there... :)

A Beautiful Boy

johnny — Wed, 07 Sep 2005 13:32:37 -0300

A beautiful boy wrote this: [You know who you are ;)]

Monday, August 01, 2005

Holding on to a lost fight.
Current mood: cynical

Maybe they were right, but I still can't find the courage to give up.

What happened to the days when life came so easy to me. I don't know if it is my choices in life that have led me to where I am, or if I am part of a cookie cutter factory that makes me just like the others. Searching desperately for my identity, feeling that I am pulling further away, how could I be running in the wrong direction when I felt so lost while flowing with the current?

Understanding the vicissitudes of life comes too easy to me. Ask me 5 years ago I would have laughed cause my life was better than your's only because I didn't know the difference. Naivity, Karma, Assembly line, what is it that makes things the way they are?...destiny? I used to think that life was in our own hands, and I still refuse to accept otherwise, eventhough vicissitude is playing her cards right. As I am losing 3-10, in a memory of unforgetable strength. She gives me hope as she tears me down. How could she be so amazingly stong while I know she suffers as I do? What is her secret? Something that I could only hope to understand myself but will stay locked up inside of her until I figure it out on my own. (If this doesn't make sense to you it is only because you don't know. But I feel the relief from telling it.)

Things come and go, but the one thing that remains is me. I am still here, and nothing will ever change that, not even death. It is my life, and my death, and not anyone elses. "Just give up" I say to myself, but it's impossible because I will still be me and nothing will ever change that.

How do you all do it? Wake up in the morning and realize who you are and what you are. How do you forget about everything else and smile and scream and laugh and fight, yet I am the schizophrenic because I happen to think that green and purple look good together. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is my life in control of my color choices, because if so then I choose blue. To me it's empowering, ambitious, eternal, comforting, and successful.

But no matter what, I still have a string of yarn that I am hanging onto, and until that string is cut, I will refuse to give in and believe that they were right.

No Labor on Labor Day

johnny — Tue, 06 Sep 2005 12:12:30 -0300

I had a great labor day weekend. It is so nice to have 3 days off. Shane got his first paycheck, so he was all about going out and spending some money. It was almost like his first weekend here all over again.

On Thursday, I got a haircut in Tampa. I figured it would be easier to just go to the mall over there, since I was picking up Walter. I went to International, the Regis Salon was booked. Also, at Westshore it was booked, so I ended up getting my hair cut by this scary guy at JC Penny cuz I was tired, frustrated, and my hair was aggravatingly long (It had been, like, 2 and a half weeks since my last cut.) Anyways, so then I picked up Walter and took him back to my house, we stopped to get food on the way back.

We went to Alibi, which was fun. Brad and Toby were there, as well as Jiganesh. Brad had wanted me to give Toby a ride home, which, albeit, was on the way to Tampa via Gandy, was kind of annoying, and I ended up not doing it. It seems lately, I am becoming more and more of a taxi service. I don't mind 90% of the time, but there is that 10% when people just assume I will take them wherever, or come pick them up somewhere WAY out of the way... Or make 900 stops along the way. My friends need cars! Walter, that means you, Shane, you too. Jiganesh is getting another car later on this month, which will be good.

So, on Friday, Shane and I went to Chambers, which was a blast. We drove around for a little bit in Tampa before going in. I didn't drink anything from my usual bartender, he hooks me up a little bit too much when I have to drive. Especially on Labor Day weekend.

On Saturday, Brad was supposed to be going to Valentines, but I tried to convince him to go to Temple instead, he had never been there, and frankly, I wanted to go, and didn't want to drive myself... At the last minute he decided to just go to Alibi, so Shane and I went to Jiganesh's house and chilled for a while before driving to Alibi. There were SOOO many cops out, I decided not to drink.

Although I only drank water all evening, I had such a good time, it kind of amazed me. :) But in a good way, definitely.

Jiganesh, Shane and I went back to my house and drank, as well as ate about 50 jello shots that we had made for suncoast. Jig was trying to get a room there for Sunday, but they were all booked and laughed at him. So we finished off the jello shots early.

On Sunday, Shane, Jig and I went over to Walt's after he got off work. I drove the 4 of us, and Walt's neighbor, who is pretty cute, and definitely a trip, Dave, to the Male Room. Once again, I didn't drink very much, but had a really good time. Aside from some minor drama with Walt, I think we all did.

Yesterday, all I did was go grocery shopping. I talked to my mom for a little bit. Tried to call my dad, who had been in Mexico for about a month, he had been delayed by the hurricane, but his line was busy.

On a side note, my internet has been out since Friday afternoon, which really sucks. I had a proposal to submit on Friday, which I had no way of even contacting the guy about it... But oh well, it was only a $500 project, and when my internet comes back on (don't even ask when that will be), I'm sure I can find another one...

The Big One

johnny — Mon, 29 Aug 2005 10:34:26 -0300

From the Times-Picayune website:
In Arabi, up to 8 feet of water was reported, and people are climbing into their attics to escape the flooding. "We're telling people to get into the attic and take something with them to cut through the roof if necessary,'' said Col. Richard Baumy of the St. Bernard Parish Sheriff's Office. "It's the same scenario as Betsy.''

Well, I talked to Mikey last night. He's in Tampa as of yesterday... He sounded like he was trying to make light of the situation, but he sounded shaken up. I didn't realize how bad it was looking for New Orleans as of last night. I didn't pay much attention to the news over the weekend, but that'll be a separate post. Hopefully I'll get to see Mikey, but if not, I'm at least glad that he's here, not there, and that he's safe.

It Is The Distance

johnny — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 16:49:58 -0300

Well, Mark called me late on Sunday night/ Monday morning. I guess it would've only been three there, it was a little past 5 here. I didn't even hear it ring, but he left a funny drunk dial message.

Then, around 10 on Monday morning, he called me, but I didn't answer it cuz I was working. He left me the cutest message. Argh. Why does he have to live so far away.

I tried giving him a call after I got out of work, but he didn't answer. I miss that boy. He said he wants to come back, and I think he's going to for Christmas, which would be cool. It's gonna come quickly. 2005 is already half over. Hell, this decade is half over, which is even more crazy to think of.

Anyways, I was at work today smoking a cigarette outside, watching the shuttle take off. Which was cool, I was feeling all patriotic. :) Oh yeah, I got mobiTV on my phone, so that's how I was watching it. It's pretty cool. Check it out! Anyways, I digress, I was done with the smoke, and the shuttle was cruising along, so I walked back in the building. At first, I just felt a little light headed. Maybe it was going from outside to the air conditioned lobby... But then when I got to the elevator, I seriously thought I was gonna pass out. I hustled back to my office and sat down. It took me a long time to recover, I felt all sweaty and dizzy. It was gross. I went home for lunch when I felt brave enough to walk to my car, ate some food, and came back. I'm not feeling like I'm gonna faint or anything anymore, but I feel kind of gross still. My stomach kinda hurts... Maybe I have food poisoning, I have no clue. I'll see how I feel later on, and if I don't feel better by tomorrow, I'll call my doctor.

Nick is gonna make dinner tonight and we're gonna hang out and work on some advertising. Fun FUN. :)

CIA World Factbook

johnny — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 03:22:07 -0300

Here is a cool website worth spending some time on.

CIA World Factbook

Select a country and get the CIA's full profile. Well, I'm sure it's not the FULL profile, but there's a lot of interesting info.

I want to go here: