So, it's going on a week since I last wrote anything. That's terrible of me. I apologize.

I went out last Monday with this guy, Jordan, who I've never actually met in person before, though we've talked online and on the phone for quite a while. It was fun, we went to see Silent Hill. I really liked the movie. I had never played any of the video games, nor did I know what it was about, but it was excellent.

On Tuesday, Chris came over and we watched Snatch and had some beers.

Wednesday was pretty uneventful. I was asleep at 1:30 when I got a call from Matt. The first thing I saw Thursday morning was that I had a missed call and a voicemail from him. After our last conversation, I was worried that it was going to be more of the same. I didn't check my voicemail until I had been at work, and had my first cup of coffee.

He basically just said that he was calling to say hello, and to call him back. I did on my lunch break, left a message. He called me in the afternoon. I had just come back from a smoke break, so I went to the stairwell, as the offices in my building have paper-like walls that convey sound as if there was no wall at all. I said hello, no response, then a click. Confused, I text messaged him and asked if he wanted to talk.

I said that he could call after 5, or we could talk in person if he liked, get coffee or somethin'.

That day, I had been feeling strangely artistic, so I went to JoAnn Fabrics after work and bought some acrylic paint. I used to have a full set, which is somewhere at my mom's house in Pennsylvania. I came home and started painting (I'm actually still working on the same project, more on that later).

Matt called, we spoke briefly and he said he would call again after he got off work, and we could meet up at Starbucks. We were originally going to meet at the one near Baywalk, in St. Pete, but when he called me later, he asked if I'd go to the one at Westshore, which, coincidentally, was where we first met.

Now, I hadn't seen Matt, or even really spoken to him on good terms in about a year. So, I was nervous as hell driving over to Tampa. At that point, I really didn't know whether he had something specific to tell me, or he just wanted to catch up, or if he'd stand me up completely. I ended up being about 15 minutes early, which is something that rarely happens. I'm always late, for everything.

So, I was surprised to see that Matt was already sitting outside, sipping his drink. I ordered mine and joined him at a table outside. We talked and hung out for a couple hours. It was really nice to see him, I'd missed him so much. It came time for Starbucks to close, and I asked if he wanted to do something else, but he was hesitant, and I understood why. So, I hugged him goodbye and went home.

As I was arriving, Walter was leaving. He was going to Brandon's for the night. I laid down, mostly just absorbing my day. I started crying. Honestly, I never thought I'd see Matt again, I'd cried those tears already. Don't really know how to explain what I was feeling.

I managed to compose myself and went outside to smoke a cigarette. Shane came outside to do the same, all dressed up and ready to go out. I had forgotten that I asked him earlier if he wanted to go to Alibi. Robert had also texted me trying to see if I was going. I hadn't seen Robert in a while, so I decided to at least make an appearance.

So, Shane and I went, and I did see Robert, and danced with him for a couple minutes as I drank my beer. I am so over the long islands. Yes, they are cheap, but they get me sooo hungover. It's a lot of cheap liquor, and it gives me a nasty hangover at 8 in the morning. So, I had 2 beers and then was ready to go.

I think it was about 1:30 when I got home. I smoked a cigarette, and then laid down. Then, thinking about Matt, I got out of bed, and IM'd him, "Yo." I didn't think he would answer, so I promptly laid back down, with one eye open, on the screen. A response popped up, and I sat down at the computer.

We chatted for a bit. It was a kind of difficult conversation, but not bad. Then Matt told me to call him. So, I went outside to smoke, and we talked a bit. He came over, and brought his dog, Lucy. He spent the night and left on Friday in the afternoon to go to work. I didn't go to work on Friday.

It's really tough to know that he feels the same way that I feel about him and that quite possibly, there's not much to be done about it. Sigh*** I've been thinking about it a lot.

After he left, Walt came and asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with him and Brandon at Alibi. The three of us met Shane there and ate. Had a couple beers, it was fun. Then, I left with Shane, who had a coworker's car. We went to WaltMart so Shane could get some deodorant. I ended up spending $70. Shane drove me home and I followed him up to his job so he could drop off the car.

As we were driving down 275, I asked Shane if he would just like to keep driving and stop by to say hello to Missy. Missy is our friend from Meadville who moved to Ellenton recently with her girlfriend, and is living with her sister, Alison (also our friend).

So we drove down, took the wrong exit, but finally found where Missy works, a gas station. Said hello and met Ashley, her girlfriend. As we were leaving the store, Alison pulls up (they live right down the road) and we talked to her for a while.

Missy wanted us to come back later when she got off work at 11:30. Alison wanted us to stay and hang out and then drink with her. I had to go home and shower and eat something. So, that is what we ended up doing.

We got back to Ellenton around 10 and started drinking Mai Tai's. Missy and Ashley got home and we were all playing cards outside and drinking. It was kind of odd to have all of us from PA just chillin' in Ellenton, FL, of all places. But I haven't laughed that hard in forever. Missy and Shane had me seriously in tears.

Alison wanted to go to a Tiki Bar down the street, so we went there, but it was kinda dead, so we walked to the end of a dock that they had at the bar and hung out. It was actually a pretty cool bar, right on the water, with lots of cool places to hang out. At about 2:30 we left and Alison wanted to take us to the beach. We had a fully stocked cooler in the trunk so we were all about it. Alison stopped to put coolant in her car and Missy lit up a blunt. Then another at the same time. Then another right after those 2 were gone.

Driving down the highway, we realized the car was smoking. A lot. So, Alison gets off the highway and smoke is pouring out of the engine. She had only had the car for a couple day, mind you. So, we go to Wal-Mart, of all places. I sooo didn't want to go inside, but I did, with everyone else. Alison got some Goop to seal up the leaking pipe going into the radiator.

Wal-Mart was an interesting experience when I was that toasty. lol. So was trying to do car repairs. The sealant held for a little bit, but Alison got back on the highway, and then right as she was pulling into her apartment complex, the car just completely died.

We hung out for a little while longer, and I eventually passed out on Alison's couch watching Scooby Doo. I woke up around 11, feeling like, um, not being awake, woke up Shane, went to the nearest gas station and bought water. Drove back to St. Pete and got food, came home and passed out.

I didn't end up doing much for the rest of the weekend, which is pretty good, cuz I'm broke!