I have to admit I've been bummed out lately. I haven't felt like doing much, and haven't really gotten anything accomplished. A large part of it is stress. I've been worried about my sister, and now I'm worried about my mom also. And my car, and money...

I've also been missing Matt a lot lately. I wish he wouldn't have talked to me, he could've just continued to hide from me, and I think it would've been better. Now, for some reason, he's mad at me again, and I'm stuck wondering what I did. Nothing really, I guess it doesn't matter anyways if he's not going to talk to me. But still I miss him. Part of me wishes he would talk to me, and that he wasn't so angry at me. I don't really understand why he's even mad at me anymore. The last time I spoke to him on the phone was right after Bob died. I was kind of upset that he called to give Mike his condolences, and didn't wish me a Happy Birthday. My birthday was 3 days after Bob passed away... And before that it had been months since I heard from him. What could I have possibly have done to him in the time that we weren't even speaking...

I've had to start considering purchasing a new vehicle, which means I have to confront my terrible credit. My goal was to pay off debt first, and then save towards a car, but now I guess I'll have to rewrite my plans.

I checked out my student loans today. In detail, and looked at previous payments. I was quite discourages to see that about half of the payments that I have made since I consolidated have gone almost entirely to interest. The problem I noticed was that since many of my payments were over the minimum payment, my next payment wouldn't be due for several months, and I would wait until then to make another payment, allowing interest to accrue. Also, I figured out that my loans accumulate about $12 interest every 2 weeks. Blah. So, I'll have to figure out a way to start making larger payments...