I hate the fact that my opinions/views on you change so frequently. I wish I could just feel the same way about you all the time. When it comes to you I am bipolar. There is no happy medium. It happiness, or depression. I wish that when i reflect on all that is you, there was some middle-ground. It was much easier when I was the one that didn't want to talk to you. At least that way when I wanted to speak to you, I could. Now, I don't even have that. I haven't seen you in almost two months, and it makes my heart break. The hardest thing for me to understand was that everything came so easy for you. You never had a hard time dealing with anything related to us. It was always "oh, there's a problem, i'll go out and get drunk and act like nothing happened." What I thought was important, you thought was trivial and should be disregarded. There are plenty of guys out there, but the only one i want to be with is the one that I shouldn't be with. I guess that's how it goes. It's even harder to realize that when you think of me, you think of someone that you just dated for a little while. But when I think about you, I think about the only person I've ever really loved. You said you loved me, but I think it was just that. You said it. I don't think you meant it. Because if you did, you wouldn't have acted the way you did. If you MEANT it, you would have never let go. What a lie.