Here I Am

So, I felt so shitty yesterday. I almost passed out right before I took my lunch break. I forced myself to eat something, even though I felt sick to my stomach.

After work, I set about the task of removing my splinter. Yes, the splinter I got on Saturday while cleaning. It was still in my hand. I thought at least. It had become quite sore and I was kind of worried about it. So, I eventually got it out.

Surprisingly I felt much better after that.

A little bit later in the evening, I was talking to a guy I talk to online quite often, Chris. We decided that we'd hang out, then tried to discuss what we were gonna do. I really don't like making plans online, it's kind of frustrating. So, I went to Taco Hell and when I got back from eating, Chris got to my house.

So, it's always strange meeting someone for the first time that you've mainly talked to online. I usually try not to do this at my house, just cuz I don't want to give people the wrong idea. But anyways, it worked out well. We hung out and watched Closer. Chris ended up staying overnight, and it was nice to have someone to cuddle up to and, ahem... make out with.

I totally made him late for work this morning though and feel kind of bad...

Hmm, dare I say it, I definitely want to see him again.

Friday night I was considering going to Chambers. I talked to Casey and he was staying at home. The night wore on and I decided I'd just stay in. Went to the store and got some liquor. We needed to restock. Called Casey back and then he said he was going out, and I told him I was staying in. lol

On Saturday morning, I woke up, made myself coffee, and decided to clean the house. I cleaned the downstairs and was wiping down the stairs with a swiffer cloth when i got a horrific splinter. I should know better...

I was in the bathroom trying to remove the splinter and my phone rang. It was my mom. She told me that she was on her way to the hospital to meet my sister, Jennifer. She was going into labor. I told her I'd call her later on.

So, I couldn't get the splinter out. I continued cleaning, and Shane woke up, we cleaned off the deck and then started to do yard work. Dave was here building a deck. I had asked if he needed any help, but he said no. So, I wanted to do something at least. And we had no water, so it wasn't like I could shower, or get ready for the day anyways, so why not just stay dirty. lol

Later on, after the water was back on and I had showered, Walt called me. I drove over and we loaded up both cars and brought some things over here. It's kind of bad timing. Benny is still here staying in the room that will be Walt's. Walt couldn't stay at his current place any longer. Mike's brother is coming down next weekend to assist with the house and to finish up the process. He will be taking Benny home with him. I think it will be fine. We're all pretty easy to get along with. Yeah, it's messy, loud and inconvenient, but it'll be over soon.

That night I called my mom. My sister had an 8 lb baby boy. Nicholas Scott, born March 25th, 7:18 PM. Despite the worries that we all had about my sister not really knowing what she is getting into, I think we all took time to dote. It's amazing the effect a new life has had... I'm still waiting for pictures.

Walt's friend Brandon came over and we made drinks and had a bonfire. I would've preferred going out, but Brandon's only 20. It was fun though. Brandon seems really nice. Walter likes him. oooh...

On Sunday, I slept in. Walt was up, came in my room to use his computer. Him and Shane were gone when I finally woke up. I showered, smoked, made some coffee. Called Walt to see if he wanted to move more stuff. He said he was going to go to Pizza Hut soon and asked if I wanted to go with them.

So, I got ready and drove over to Tampa. We went to the Pizza Hut where Walt works. Ate there, met Walt's friend, Mike. Then we all went back to Walt's to smoke and decide where we wanted to go see a movie. Baywalk was the soonest showing of V for Vendetta, so we drove over there.

The movie was pretty amazing, and touched on a lot of things that are going on in the world today, particularly the USA. In the movie they had the Acts of Allegiance, which was clearly a thinly veiled version of the Patriot Act.

After the movie we decided to stop at Suncoast. I picked up Kevin, cuz I had talked earlier in the day about going with him. Unfortunately, the movie was kinda long and Suncoast was kinda dead when we got there. So, we drove to Alibi. Alibi was pretty busy. We were there super early though. So, I got a beer, and was talking to Shane.

OK, then a friend of Jiganesh's came up and started talking to me. He was like, have you heard the news. No, what're you talking about. He told me that Jiganesh had died. I totally didn't believe him... I was like, no, you're kidding. My smile slowly morphed into my jaw dropping.

I hadn't heard from Jay in a couple weeks, but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary. We're both busy, and communicate via text messages. I don't worry when I don't get one back right away. I haven't really gone out or seen anyone lately. The guy who told me this is someone I know, but don't really talk to outside the bars. I know he's a friend of Jay's, we always talk when we see each other, but he didn't have any way to get in touch with me.

So I took today off of work. I'm left feeling confused and cheated...

We did all stay at Alibi last night. I was told this with a full beer in my hand. And I admit, I drank too much. At one point, the four of us just went to the car and pounded beers out there... We all came back to SP and Justin met us here with Aly. Aly is his Boxer. She's an awesome dog. We all drank more once we got home, and smoked. Justin, Shane and I (and Aly) came upstairs and watched Ab Fab.

One other random weekend tidbit. Nick emailed me on Friday. I have yet to email him back. Also, another ex boyfriend contacted me on myspace. lol. Strange. Anyways, that's it...

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Theresa

I got this email on Sunday morning. This happens all the time. People get mad at me for not saying hi to them. YET THEY DO THE SAME THING! Most of the time, it is people who I don't know, have never met before, or else didn't see at all...

ALOT of people know me from myspace, or various other online channels, though I don't know them. On Tuesday, I was at Grand Central, and someone ran up to me and said hey, johnny. As I tried to see who it was in the relative darkness, he was like, you don't know who I am...? He was like, wait, look, and opened up myspace on the courtesy computer. Opened up his friends list, and there I was, on page 1. So, some people do say hello. Those people rock. In fact, I think I'm going to email him right now and tell him so. He's not the only person who I've randomly met out, but they are few and far between.

For the most part, it's the opposite, people who will just write me a nasty email. It happens all the time, and it drives me crazy. I really don't get it.

Just fucking say hello. How hard is that... Don't go home, get on the computer and write me an email. I saw you, you were wearing blah blah blah. You were with so and so...

Subject: meanie

Body:

Okay ur whore now. Sorry but u are. Uhmmmm I was not only at Alibis last night but when u were dancing with ur friends & on stage I was right in front & back of you. How rude, u could of said hello, its me J man Boo u whore..

btw u were wearing a White t shirt. Wasnt hard not to spot me, I was the best dressed & yngest/cutest one there

On Monday, Justin and his cousin, who is on vacation, came over for a little while on their way to a bar in Clearwater. Justin mentioned something about hanging out on Tuesday night. So, after work on Tuesday, Shane and I met up with Justin, Matt, Robert and Patrick at Grand Central. It was karaoke night. I don't sing... lol

So, we all hung out until close and then headed up to Patrick and Robert's house. We were actually there until about 4:30, at which point, Shane and I came back to SP.

Yesterday, I woke up and took Shane to the DMV for his driver's license test. He passed. Yay. I sat in the sun for an hour and a half... So my face got a little bit of color.

Telephonebuisnman: "Joe just won an e-bay auction, got a great deal on an iPod. He used a tactic e-bay refers to as sniping, which is perfectly legal. It can be very lucrative. However, due to the necessity of control over one's bid, the lucrative benefit could never be achieved when using the "max-bid" feature."

OK, to explain. Last week, I was talking to this guy, Joe. I've talked to him online before, and even hung out with him a couple times. He always seemed normal, and, *gasp*, nice... The conversation started out with him asking me about iPods, and how to sync them using Windows Media Player. I have never used WMP for this, as I think it's a lame program, the only reason it's on my computer is because it came with Windows. So I basically told him this, and said there was a way, but I'm not familiar with it.

He then proceeded to tell me that he tried to install iTunes and it messed up his computer by associating every file type with iTunes. This is ridiculous. I've installed iTunes twice in the last month alone due to updates, and I know that there is an option to associate files with iTunes, but, if you're installing iTunes in the first place, you would probably want to do that anyways. So, I tried to explain that to him.

At this point, the conversation was still somewhat pleasant. Soon, though, he started going on about bidding on an iPod on ebay. He was telling me about a different way to bid. I've sold and bought on ebay a lot, so I disagreed with him that there were 2 separate ways to bid on something. Then the conversation took a nasty turn and he started getting really defensive, and then really personal, and just spouting off everything he didn't like about me.

So, I just realized that I didn't write here all last week. I won't go into recap mode quite yet. But it was a pretty busy week. I went out to Alibi on Thursday, had a fun time. On Friday I was pretty tired in the evening. I was supposed to hang out with Walter, but ended up falling asleep waiting for him to call me, and then sleeping until Saturday morning.

I was walking around the house to go smoke a cigarette on the deck, picked up my phone to call Walter, and it rang. It was Walt. So, talked to him for a moment and then decided to go over there. Shane and I hung out at Walt's for a bit, then we all went to the mall to look around, basically. Shane bought a CD. I tried to get him to buy an ipod, he's always talking about how much he wants one...

We ate at the mall and then headed back to Walt's for a bit. We made an interlude to one of Walt's songs, tasty. I think it turned out well. He burnt a copy of his CD, but I forgot to rip it to my computer. I'm supposed to be building him a new version for his website, but don't have the music I need yet...

We were planning on going to Flirt, but Walter didn't have money for the cover, so we settled on good-ol Alibi. Shane drove and Walter met us there. Walter had had some boy drama, so was kind down about that. But I tried my best to cheer him up. I ran into a friend, Robert, and we chatted for a bit.

Earlier I went to get into the elevator to come up to my office from the first floor. The doors opened and this lady went to get in, completely running into a girl trying to exit the elevator, and pinning her momentarily against the wall.

Oh, I'm so sorry, so sorry! So, I get in the elevator, she asks me what floor, I say 4, she's going to 2. She's like, ooh, lucky numbers. So, it's not a very long ride from 1 to 2, obviously, but the whole time she just stared at me... I turned to look at her, and she was like, my son has the exact same hair style... He just loves it. I said thank you, cuz what else do you say to that...? She got out of the elevator much more gracefully than she got in.

As she entered the newly remodeled 2nd floor, she starts proclaiming, very loudly, Oh wow, it's different in here! Am I on the right floor?!

Whatever she's on, I kinda want some... In any case, it added some humor to my otherwise routine day.

Wow, so I really wish I could take a picture of the lake right now. There are two large circular spots where the water is a completely different texture. It's kind of hard to explain, thus the wishing I could take a picture... It's like there are waves, and then in these two spots the water looks completely flat... Hmm...

Underwater drainage pipes, or secret invisible government laboratory???

I worry that new people in my life will only give me new chances to make the same mistakes.

In case you haven't noticed, I have been working on items for the website. New themes, etc.

So, it has been an interesting couple of days, to say the least. I have known for quite some time that my capacity for forgiveness borders on masochism. I've never been one to hold a grudge. I looked at a situation that I was presented with, one that I have been avoiding.

In Psychology I learned how difficult it can be to change a person's mind about something; it's a process that can take a long time. I looked at things in my life, somehow, from a perspective that I'd never seen before. It changed my mind.

Hmm, what else happened over the weekend, I went out to Grand Central on Friday, got sunburned on Saturday, and just got back from the movies this evening.

So, just as suddenly as Felix came, he left today. Back to OK, then off to Afghanistan. His last day was supposed to be April 1st. Guess the joke's on him...

I've been hella busy this week at work, it's kinda crazy... Um, lots of random little things. We have new interior walls at swaying palms. Walls for the laundry and bathroom. I still have to get finalized measurements and go over plans with Mike for the cabinets, but I think everything should happen with that sometime over the weekend.

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