Here I Am

So, I've been trying hard to maintain a good mood today. My Mom goes into surgery tomorrow. She has got to call today to find out what time they have scheduled her.

It's working for the most part, the good mood thing. It's a beautiful day, work on the house is going well (I stopped by on my lunch break). But it's not easy. My whole life right now is just one anxiety provoking situation after another.

The house is going well, but it's still stressful. My sister's due date is the 27th, my Mom will be recovering for the next couple of weeks, and I'm worried about her. Not to mention the tension between my sister and mom, mostly caused by my sister's sorry choice in men, and her worsening situation. It's no wonder I've been drinking and smoking so much. Christ...

So, it was an odd weekend. On Friday, I was supposed to hang out with Joe, he had said he was free earlier in the week and that he wanted to do something. didn't, however know what when or where... I didn't hear from him until later on when he text messaged my phone.

FYI people: When you're scrolling through your phone book to send me a text, just hit call instead. I do not like making plans via SMS.

Anyways, while I was at home, waiting for a call, kinda bored, this guy I've known for a while IM'd me and asked if I wanted to hang out with him and his boyfriend. Basically to have a threesome. I said I wasn't into that, but I'd come hang out. They live in Lakeland though, an hour away. I don't personally have anything against threesomes, just kind of adverse to hooking up like that.

Anyways, I ended up not doing that either. Justin text messaged me and said him and Patrick and rented a limo to drive them around and they were on their way to city side. Would I like to join. I said sure. So I left the house and called Justin, left a VM saying I was on my way. Jay was also going to be there with Dre.

Justin texted me and said that it was kinda lame there and that they were gonna go to Angel's, or someplace I never heard of. I was kind of annoyed, since his invite was one of the main reasons I went out. So, I never did meet up with the boys, their limo took them to the Male Room, Suncoast and then Grand Central. Oh well.

So, City Side was actually quite busy. It cleared out kinda early though. I didn't feel much like drinking, so Shane and I left and went to Walter's. We watched some Smallville and had a beer and smoked.

So, yesterday, I had someone come to my job and replace my car window. While the guy was doing that, I sat on the curb and was talking on the phone. I noticed how bald my tires are. It's always something, I guess. But anyways, I have a window now, so I feel relieved at least in that aspect.

After work, I went home to the chaos. Mike, Shane and I went and did the soon to be very familiar Home Depot / Lowes circuit. We pretty much decided on a brand and style of tile for the kitchen. We are doing a 3 size, 3 color pattern. The floor will be the three colors, dark, mid and light tones, the counter tops are a granite composite material that Mike has 2 colors under consideration at the moment.

I have a 3D movie animation program on my iBook that I've never really used other than to insert some of the stock characters and manipulate them. I just got the great idea to use that to enter in the dimensions of the room, cabinets, etc. And render 3D drawings of the potential color combinations. The program takes forever to render the scenes, but it would be worth it. I don't think it would take me too long to set up either...

So, it is absolute chaos at our house. It feels that way at least. I went home after work yesterday and we didn't have any water. All of the kitchen and downstairs bath fixtures have been removed. The floor on the eastern half of the kitchen is completely gone.

I talked to Kevin and he said he was going to come over in about 20 minutes. So, I go out on the deck to smoke a cigarette. I was in the process of getting all the cigarettes to dump in the fire when I saw it.

But first, let me rewind. The pile of junk has been fueling a fire in our pit which has outgrown the fire pit itself. It had been burning since around 4 pm on Monday. It was Tuesday around 7 or 8.

So, I'm standing there with the butt bin in my hand, Mike and his friend Scott were sitting on the deck also. A fire truck was rolling down the street with its lights on. Mike kept saying, that's not for us, that's not a fire truck... It was clearly for us. Mike started walking towards the fence, where they had stopped. He yelled to run in and get hot dogs. I did. It kinda made sense while I was doing it, but when I got back outside with this giant bag of hot dogs, Scott said, We're gonna put the fire out with hot dogs?

So, everyone survived day one of the demolition pretty well. By the time I came home for lunch, the kitchen was pretty much gutted. After work the wall between the kitchen and office was stripped, and the floor in the office was stripped.

So, I'm on the Swaying Palms diet. lol. No food, just cigarettes and beer. OK, not really. I do have food, but the downstairs is such a wreck that I didn't make any. Shane and I drove all the way up to Gandy for some Arby's.

So, I noticed I've had a couple visits from people in PA. I've gotten some hits from people using Armstrong and Comcast internet services, as well as someone from the Slippery Rock Campus. So hello!

I had a pretty cool weekend. On Friday I went after work to get a haircut, which I'd have to say was really quick. I don't like it when stylists seem to be rushing, but it turned out well, so... After leaving the mall, I picked up Shane from work and took him to get his paycheck cashed.

We came home and Jay had called me to see if I felt like going out. I did, but I am SOO over Chambers that I suggested City Side. So that's what we did on Friday evening. It was pretty fun. Walter met up with us there. Justin also came out, but kinda late, around 2:15 or so.

By the way, has anyone heard this song? It's quite interesting.

Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other) - Willie Nelson

This day is dragging some serious ass... Hopefully the next hour goes a little bit faster.

The sun is slicing across my monitor like it does at this time every day. Time to close the blinds...

It's so nice today. It was nicer yesterday, but damn. It's great. So, I was supposed to go to Alibi last night but ended up just chillin out and watching QAF. Which was enjoyable. I got really into the 4th season. I finished it up last night. I think I'm gonna write a review. But that's a project for another day. A lot of people say they don't like the way QAF portrays gay people, but I think the show is very honest. Well, of course it is overly dramatic, it's TV. But... anyways... I'll save it for later.

So, didn't go out. I was still up a little too late, but somehow feel quite rested today.

So, we are getting a new kitchen and downstairs bath. Brand new everything. It's gonna be fabulous.

Mike has been talking about doing this forever, but in all honesty, it's something I thought he wouldn't end up doing. Demolition begins on Saturday. Workers will be taking up the floor and reinstalling a level, even walking surface. New layout for the kitchen, which was originally 2 different rooms and shows it. New countertops. Mike ordered a fabulous stove last night. It has a down draft venting system so there is no giant hood overtop of it. (Although they do have the slim profile glass slide out hoods that are kind of nice.)

The current bathroom will be gutted, which means we will lose the matron of the house.

So, Mark called me on Saturday at almost 5 in the morning. I saw it was him calling and didn't answer it. I was not in the mood to have a conversation with him. I was also pretty messed up at the time.

He left a message about spring break, and coming out here to visit, and that he was sorry and he missed me. I text messaged him a couple days later and told him I missed him too and asked when spring break was.

So, I have to say that I had a good Valentine's Day. I didn't do a whole lot, it was mellow and uncomplicated. For the most part.

I was pretty much planning on going out for Justin's birthday, at least for a little while, since he was turning 21. He told me he was ill earlier in the day, but I thought it was just a hangover. So, I had text messaged Walt and Shane around lunch to ask what their plans were for the evening. Right before sending the message, I decided to send it to Joe also.