Here I Am

Why not:

I did try, but aparently, I was completely wrong that Matt wanted to have some sort of contact with me. He got all upset and said some things that really hurt me. I guess I was stupid to talk to him anyways. He said he's changed, and I guess it's true. He's not someone I could ever care about. All I wanted was to talk to him anyways, but even that was futile.

On the other hand, I'm the one who has consistently said I want him in my life. I've apologized more than I probably should have. Yet he's tried so hard to disappear, getting a new screen name and phone number, yet does shit like hack into my voicemail and my buddy list. Oh yeah, and read my blog on a daily basis. So I might have let myself get hurt by him, but at least I'm not the confused one. I can take comfort in that.

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So, it has been quite a while since I've posted anything on here. I've actually written a couple entries, they're just not published yet. Those of you who actually know me know generally what's been going on.

It's so strange to not blog for so long. It is something I've become accustomed to doing. Well, a lot has happened...

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So, yesterday afternoon, Shane and I went to International Mall. He'd never been there, so we just went and browsed. I was looking for a set of Martini glasses, but I didn't find one I like. I'm very picky. (More)

So, on Thursday, we went to Alibi. It was pretty packed. We had planned to have Shane designatedly drive. He had to work, so we figured it was a good idea. That was Mark and I could get nice and trashed, as if we hadn't every other night of the week. Jiganesh came out, so Mark got to see him, and they talked for a bit. The 4 of us were sitting at a table outside. Mark started in with this shit... Johnny's mad at me. Why are you mad at me. I kept telling him that I wasn't the slightest bit mad at him. I asked Shane if I had done anything to make him think I was mad at him... I was so confused.

Then, I saw Brian walking in the side door, by himself. I yelled, and he came over. I was just thinking to myself, why is he here without his girlfriend... hmmm... He told us that Candace and Justin were coming in a minute, he was supposed to scope out the bouncer situation for those in the party with fake ID's. Shane was supposed to create a distraction, but they got in fine.

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Matt aparently didn't like this article. (More)

So, on Tuesday, I drove Mark up to Palm Harbor to get his things from his Dad's house. Shane came with me and we watched Rocco's Modern Life while Mark showered, and got his stuff together. On the way back we were trying to decide if we were gonna go out to eat, or what we were gonna do. We ended up going to Publix and Mark bought a bunch of food to make.

Back at the house, Mark set out to make dinner. He made Pasta and alfredo sauce with veggies and shrimp. I was hungry, and impatient as always, so I had some sushi as this whole process was going on. The dinner was really good though. I thought it was really sweet of Mark. :) So, we had a bottle of wine with dinner, then made cocktails afterwards. Mark and I watched something on the projector. Then went outside to smoke a cigarette.

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On new year's eve, I slept kind of late, and got absolutely nothing done. Mark wanted me to pick him up, but not until later on in the day. So I got ready, and waited for him to call me. I guess I wasn't that ready, I still needed to eat, and was just wearing sandals. So, he calls and asks where I'm at, and says that we needed to be there before 8 to avoid the cover. So I was still waiting for Walter, who was originally gonna drive.

Walt got to my house and I saw his FABULOUS car. He totally wasn't ready though, and still needed to shower. I didn't realize this, and had yelled at Shane, who had just gotten out of the shower, "Get ready, we gotta go, Walt will be here any second." So, he had gotten dressed all quick, and wasn't quite dry from his shower. Yeah, he wasn't happy with me... lol. So I said that I'd go pick up Mark and Walt could shower, and then him and Shane could go to Suncoast so they wouldn't have to pay the cover.

So I set off to Palm Harbor. Mark had given me different directions, which, I had some trouble following. I'm so used to Google Maps that when people give me actual directions, I'm just like, What...? So, I ended up missing an exit, cuz I didn't know I was looking for an exit. I drove way past where I was supposed to, and was so irritated. And hungry, and those are not a good combination. So finally I got to Mark's house and picked him up. I told him I'd pay his cover since I was so late.

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