Here I Am

So, I was kind of anxious yesterday, didn't eat on my lunch break, but that's kind of usual lately. I went home right after work and called my Mom to see how her trip to Pittsburgh's Shadyside Hospital went. (More)

I hate the fact that my opinions/views on you change so frequently. I wish I could just feel the same way about you all the time. When it comes to you I am bipolar. There is no happy medium. It happiness, or depression. I wish that when i reflect on all that is you, there was some middle-ground. It was much easier when I was the one that didn't want to talk to you. At least that way when I wanted to speak to you, I could. Now, I don't even have that. I haven't seen you in almost two months, and it makes my heart break. The hardest thing for me to understand was that everything came so easy for you. You never had a hard time dealing with anything related to us. It was always "oh, there's a problem, i'll go out and get drunk and act like nothing happened." What I thought was important, you thought was trivial and should be disregarded. There are plenty of guys out there, but the only one i want to be with is the one that I shouldn't be with. I guess that's how it goes. It's even harder to realize that when you think of me, you think of someone that you just dated for a little while. But when I think about you, I think about the only person I've ever really loved. You said you loved me, but I think it was just that. You said it. I don't think you meant it. Because if you did, you wouldn't have acted the way you did. If you MEANT it, you would have never let go. What a lie.

So, I told my friend at work, Cat, about my car. She said she wasn't sure, but she thinks her tenant might be selling a 2000 Honda Civic. I told her I was interested, and she's gonna find out for me. That is good news at least. The Honda Civic is my second choice car, my first being another Toyota.

I had to take a really late lunch break today. I went home and checked my bank account, they still have no straightened out that whole mess, so I had to buy some cigarettes using my credit card, how lame is that...

I totally just want to go home and go to sleep. I have so much laundry to put away though, it's sick. I think Walter is coming over today also, cuz he doesn't have much to do at his house without electricity.

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So, it's Monday morning. I'm listening to the Lindsay Lohan (L Lo.) CD that I ripped from Walter. So, I've pretty much had the weekend from hell. I went out on Thursday night, so was kinda tired all day on Friday. But I was still in the mood to go out on Friday. I didn't go anywhere. I ended up spending my Friday night creating a picture in photoshop. In the movie, Aeon Flux, Trevor Goodchild is in a lot of posters/ billboards throughout the city, Bregna. I had taken a bunch of pictures of myself that day, and one of them reminded me of one from the movie.

So, I spent a while doing that, and then went to bed. It's the background for my MySpace profile right now. So, I woke up on Saturday and talked to Doug on the phone for a little bit. He told me about his relationship problems, which is quite a departure for him, he usually tells me how well things are going with him and Geoff. SoI was in a pretty good mood, and felt like going somewhere. Went to get in the car, and lo and behold, someone had smashed out my rear passenger window.

They hadn't hit it hard enough to push the glass in, but it's pretty well shattered. It doesn't look like the work of a baseball bat or a crobar, more like a fist or an elbow... Also, I seem to have been the only victim on the street, which makes me think it was personal. I have an odd feeling that it was Matt. I really wish the front security camera had been recording, but unfortunately none of them were.

So, I taped up the glass to hold it in place and gave up any plans on driving too far. Shane and I went to Baywalk, where we considered a movie, but went to the Martini Bar at Dan Marino's to decide. We looked up movie times on our phones and I had a Lemon Drop and a Sunbelt. They were both fabulous. My total came to $18, and I added a $5 tip, even though our bartender was rude and snotty. So, I get home, and start watching QAF, which I had gotten in the mail from Netflix. They had sent me disc 2 of season 4 in the sleeve marked disc 1, so that was kind of annoying, as I haven't seen any of the 4th season.

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So, I didn't do quite as well on this one as the other one, but this was the 'Quick and Dirty IQ test.' So... My results: (More)

Well, the title of this post is a Coldplay song. I've become addicted to Coldplay's X&Y, as well as Brandy's Afrodisiac. They may seem quite contrary, but they actually compliment each other very well. Coldplay is Brandy's favorite band, and she references one of their songs in 'I Tried,' as well as sampling 'Clocks' in her song, 'Should I Go.'

Anyways, they both kind of fit the way I've felt lately. Not bad, not good, just kind of somewhere in the middle. Dealing, I guess.

So, today was kind of a shitty day for me. Someone I don't know randomly emailed me to tell me that Matt is talking shit on me to everyone he knows. How did he put it, oh yeah: 'spewing random little pieces of hate.' I don't know why this kid thought I needed to know. This has happened before. Matt messaged my friend Keith because he saw a comment Keith had left on my myspace page. He messaged Keith and talked shit on me. Keith told me about it, and was like, What's wrong with that kid...? I really don't know.

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Google's corporate motto: Don't Be Evil. Google is the fastest growing company in the history of the world. Google has become a sort of collective unconscious for netizens. How did we live without it. If you don't know what something is, or want more information about it, Google It. Web search, news, maps, images, video and email are all right there. If you have a personalized home page, you can see local weather, a daily quote.

Google today launched it's new Chinese site: http://google.cn . Censorship comes standard.

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Hey, well, it's Monday again. Isn't it crazy how that happens every week. lol

I had a pretty good weekend. Last week I didn't do much of anything. I went out on Thursday. Walt had asked me if I was going to go to Alibi, so I told him I would. I was in such a great mood that night, I'm not really sure why. I called Walt, and then saw him on the porch. Joe was with him, so I didn't even say hello to Walt when I saw them out on the porch, I told Walt I would meet him inside (on the phone, lol). I went inside, got a drink, and walked over to talk to Brad and Toby.

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Some pics of Windows Vista

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Google defies US over search data

At least for now. MSN and Yahoo have already turned over subpoenaed database records to the Justice Department. The Justice Department has now filed suit in San Jose, CA, to obtain records including a weeks worth of search queries and a million randomly selected web addresses from the Google index.

 

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Apple's operating system contains a kernel extension called AppleTPMACPI.kext. TPM stands for Trusted Platform Module. It makes sure OSX only runs on MAC hardware. Wouldn't it be nice if I could buy a really fast processor, a standard PC box and hard drive and have OSX blazing away without having to drop $2000 on an iBook, or iMac with considerably less processing power?

OSx86 is the nickname of the hacked version of OSX without this extension. Released last week on the BitTorrent system. http://osx86project.org/

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Here are the results of some generic IQ test I took at http://intelligencetest.com :

Full analytical report for John

General statistics

Total number of questions: 30
Questions answered: 30
Questions not answered: 0
Questions answered correctly: 24
Questions answered incorrectly: 6
Percentage correct answers: 80 %

Your age adjusted IQ score is 123 and the average score for all test takers is 100. You scored higher than 94 % of all the people that took this test.

Your Grade ** Above Average **

Well done! Your performance on the test was well above the population average which means that you have the ability to achieve success in life. Typically, people with scores in this range can see logic in their surroundings and perform very well academically. You like to conceptualize ideas and gather your own information which means that you have the brains to go far. You should be able to handle all academic challenges and if you think of intelligence as an ability to adapt adequately to new situations then you are heading in the right direction.

Mental abilities have the highest correlation with general intelligence of all objectively measurable abilities and they are the primary focus of this test. Furthermore the mental abilities targeted for measurement were specifically chosen because they have been shown to correlate highly with many other abilities. The graphs below show how you scored in various abilities such as pattern recognition and logical reasoning - skills which are all reliable predictors of academic achievement.

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So, I've been catching up my blog for the better part of the day. Blah. I'm so bored in general today. I've been listening to Coldplay's X&Y all day. I listened to that CD last week for the first time and am addicted now. I've had it since it came out, but never listened to it. Hmmm. I do that a lot.

On Friday evening, I went over to Cengiz's house and we watched Junebug and Red Eye. They were both pretty good. Red Eye redeemed itself within the last 15 - 20 minutes of the movie.

On Saturday, we drove over to Orlando and walked around Downtown Disney for a bit. We tried to find someplace to eat there, but we both have an aversion to standing in lines, so that didn't happen. I bought a Rui Da Silva CD at the Virgin Megastore (I love that place!). We went to Chili's for dinner, and were seated next to 2 tables of little kids.

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Ok, so I totally stole this from Overheard...

Attack of the iPod People (NYC Short Stories)

Guy #1: My iPod called me a homo this morning.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: I had it on shuffle and it played a nonstop string of Rent, Oklahoma, Barbara Streisand, Donna Summer and, best of all, Annie: The Musical.
Guy #2: Wow, you said, "Best of all, Annie." That's amazingly gay.

--34th between 7th & 8th

Man on cell: She gave him an iPod. Can you believe it? It's like, just not cool for a girl to give a guy an iPod. A guy can give a girl an iPod. But it shouldn't happen the other way around. It's just not right.

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So, this week has been kinda hellish at work. I have been so busy all week at work after not being here for a week.

I bought myself a reward earlier today... lol

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